Losing My Saltiness:When Failure Silences You and Grace Gives You Back Your Voice

A redemptive journey for Christians who’ve fallen and wonder if God can still use them.

Failure, conviction, guilt, shame. How do you recover from all that and become once again a thought leader or a moral authority over something you miserably failed at? People do not listen to a poor man’s lectures about wealth and financial freedom, but they flock by the droves to glean from a man who has the goods to show for it.

Audrey and Bob Meissner were admired spiritual leaders. They were happily married, in ministry, and hosted a Christian TV program. Their relationship seemed ideal: deeply connected, faith-driven, and purpose-filled.

But beneath the surface, Audrey struggled with emotional exhaustion and fear of confrontation. She became a “performer and pleaser,” suppressing her feelings to avoid conflict with Bob. Over time, the pressures of ministry and unspoken pain left her vulnerable.

A young family friend began spending time with them. His playful attention and flirtation awakened something in Audrey. She felt seen, desired, and emotionally revived. What began as innocent companionship slowly turned into an emotional entanglement, and eventually, an affair.

Bob was blindsided. Because of their intimacy and shared ministry, he hadn’t seen it coming. The betrayal shattered their world. That affair rocked their world even more when she conceived. Today, they travel the world together with the boy born of that affair, telling the world about what happened to them, not losing their saltiness. It’s no mean feat. How did I know that story? I heard them share their story at Watoto Church, and it is also available on CBN News.

“If you are Not Ashamed to Tell”

I was going through social media when I came across a one-minute reel posted by Trinity Broadcasting Network (TBN). The renowned gospel artist, Donnie McClurkin, was being interviewed, and this is what he said in that clip:

“It was in 1999 that I fathered a child. I was a failure. My integrity was shot as far as I was concerned.

I didn’t want to go any further, and I didn’t think that I could ever gain back the confidence of people. And then I went and I heard at the Dove Awards: ‘We fall down, but we get up.’

Micah 7 and 8 says, ‘Rejoice not against me, O mine enemy. For when I fall,’ not if I fall, ‘for when I fall, I shall arise again. And when I sit in darkness, God will be a light unto me.’

And out of all the words that were preached to me, they didn’t really hit me until God started talking to me through these scriptures. And started to show me, now, let me use your fault and failure as a testimony to others, if you’re not ashamed to tell.

What Does it Mean to Lose Saltiness?

I cannot begin to tell you how many voices have been silenced by personal failure, both in private and in public. Jesus said,

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.”—Matthew 5:13, NIV

Losing our saltiness is a serious matter, and frankly, it is something that happens to just about anyone at just about any time.

Largely, it means to be ineffective both in one’s calling and in general, as a follower of Christ. It means to compromise and give room to things that God would not approve. It might also mean to be quiet in the place where I am supposed to speak because I have no moral authority left to do it.

The Power of Redemption

One of the most powerful things about God is redemption. There is no case that God has failed to redeem, at least those that have been submitted to Him for respite. The list in the Bible is endless.

• Abraham lied, so did his son Isaac.
• Jacob was a conniver.
• Moses murdered.
• David committed adultery and then murdered the spouse of his victim.
• A woman was caught in the very act of adultery and brought before Jesus to be condemned.

All these people and more came short of God’s standards. There are so many people that I haven’t added to that list, including you and me.

The question is, what do we do when we go astray and yet are still required to be the salt of the earth?

Donnie Muclurkin, King David, and the Samaritan Woman

In his testimony, the very last line that Donnie Mclurkin gave is very telling:

“…let me use your fault and failure as a testimony to others, if you’re not ashamed to tell.”

If you are not ashamed to tell. That’s the key to the whole thing. Being able to tell, not just God about it, but, with wisdom, God’s people, just like Donnie was doing.

Perhaps the most potent scripture on repentance was penned by David when he was caught in adultery and subsequently committed murder. Psalm 51 has been used by many genuine Christians privately and publicly to bring respite and comfort when we go wayward and are convicted. David’s prayer in this Psalm speaks so powerfully:

“Don’t throw me from your presence, and don’t take your holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation. Uphold me with a willing spirit. Then I will teach transgressors your ways. Sinners shall be converted to you. Deliver me from blood guiltiness, O God, the God of my salvation. My tongue shall sing aloud of your righteousness. Lord, open my lips. My mouth shall declare your praise.”—Psalm 51:11-15, Word English Bible [Emphasis mine]

I have highlighted two important things. They are the exact opposite of what happens when people lose their saltiness. First, people stop telling others about God’s Kingdom. Second, they lose the praise of God because of what David calls “blood guiltiness”.

Here is another scripture on the subject matter:

“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift all of you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.”—Luke 22:31-32, NIV [Emphasis mine]

Look at the last highlighted line. It is expected that despite the fall, God’s call on our lives will still continue. We know what Peter did, don’t we? He rejected Christ and used cuss words at that. Remember when Jesus had resurrected and an angel appeared to the women at the tomb? What did he tell them?

“But go, tell his disciples and Peter, ‘He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.’”—Mark 16:7, NIV [Emphasis mine]

When you and I lose our saltiness, God is not expecting us to be discarded. God is a God of redemption. He expects us to be restored and to continue with the mission that He has given us.

God Still Wants to Use Us

My heart goes out to the many soldiers of God’s army that have fallen by the wayside because of guilt, shame, and embarrassment that has been orchestrated by sin. This is sin’s deceitfulness, to take us all out.

Despite all this, God expects us to rise up once again and do what he called us to do. The hardest part, ladies and gentlemen, is owning up to what we did and letting God use it to bring healing to others.

We are invariably let down by addictions, divorce, financial misappropriation, lust, and, perhaps, even more powerfully, complacency and lukewarmness. These are things that make us lose our saltiness. When Jesus ministered to the Samaritan woman at the well, what was the result? Even though she was living in adultery, she became a voice of hope to her people by telling them about Christ.